Non-Genius Bar: Part Two

Happy Labor Day weekend friends and fans!

Did I say I was going to write part two last weekend?

Whoops, sorry.

The weekend got away from me.

Here ya go, part two:

Tuesday of last week I was able to get a ride to my local mall and my local Apple Store.

Not the biggest, not the fanciest Apple Store, but, like I said, it was close, so there we went.

By good fortune my friend and I arrived some 20 minutes before my scheduled 6:40PM appointment.

As the store did not look THAT full (slow time of year for Apple I guess) I thought they’d let me check in early. So up to the kid in the blue t shirt holding an iPad Mini I went to get the ball rolling.

Nope.

“We can’t check you in until 5 minutes before your scheduled time, so you’ll have to come back,” she said.

Sigh.

So rather than wander aimlessly around the mall (I’m too old for mall wandering) we decided to check out the latest macs apple had to offer, since my friend was kinda-sorta wanting to get a new MacBook soon.

MacBook Air M2? Yikes was that a fingerprint magnet. I still prefer the wedge shape of my AMAZING M1, the new design is, to me, lost a bit in translation. Yes, I get that the new air is conforming to the new/current MacBook design language, but it’s just not as special looking as it once was.

MacBook Pros? Have had many over the years, love ’em. The current M1 Pro/Max are chunky for sure, but remind me of my beloved 2015 15" that I wish I STILL had.

Staring at MacBook's covered in fingerprints got boring pretty quickly.

Finally, it was 6:35PM. I was able to get checked in.

Now, as I said in part one, it’s been years since I’ve had to do any kind of warranty service on an iPhone, I think since the 5S days to be honest.

In those days, if memory serves, you went to the actual Genius Bar in the back (or side) of the store, waited for your turn, and the Genius behind the bar was able to help you. As long as you didn’t use your iPhone as a hockey puck, they’d swap it for a new one, not too many questions asked.

Wow have things changed.

“Ok, you’re all set, you see that table over there….no….by the iPhone cases? Just sit there and someone will find you.”

THAT is the current Genius experience. Go sit at a table and they’ll find you.

Like you’re waiting for a fucking blind date.

So, we waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally, after over ONE HOUR of waiting past my scheduled appointment time…..

“Hi, Dan? We need you to go to that table in the middle where a specialist will help you.”

Sigh….ok. After arriving at the new middle table and joining a confused older couple holding what looked like a recent iPhone SE (rebadged iPhone 8 with newer chip) we waited for fifteen more minutes.

This was ridiculous. What was the point behind a SCHEDULED appointment?????

Finally, the “specialist” arrived.

A short, snotty kid wearing a backwards hat (I hate that look) holding a larger iPad and a few cables rushed over to us, looking annoyed and harried.

First, she turned to the older couple.

“Is it ok if I take your phone to the counter so they can do more diagnostics?” she asked them, doing nothing to alleviate their confused look.

“Um……OK,” the gentleman of the couple replied.

I never did find out what happened to their phone. I almost felt like helping them.

Specialist in the backwards hat looked at me.

“So, what’s the issue you’re experiencing?”

I explained the situation again. Hot iPhone. Battery percentage dropping too fast. I was told hardware issues and to come in.

“Did they do any diagnostics?” she asked.

“Yes, I did a few over the phone/text with the tech,” I replied, showing her the diagnostic logs, especially since I knew where to go (privacy settings) to retrieve them.

“OK, well, I need to run those diagnostics again. Just leave it plugged in and I’ll be back.”

Off she ran, her air of annoyance and stress evident.

After ANOTHER 20 minutes, the diagnostic was over, and she finally rushed back and reviewed the data.

“Well, according to this, your iPhone is fine, no hardware problems.”

WHAT? THE? FUCK?

“Well, the tech on chat told me to come in because there WERE hardware issues. I want this fixed or replaced. The phone is unusable.”

“Well, you’re under warranty, not apple care, and we see no issues. The most we would do is fix it, not replace it. We don’t do that anymore. What you should do is erase your phone and set it up as new. If it is still too warm come back and we will do a repair.”

With that, she rushed off, having had enough of me.

I was living at this point. Why THE FUCK did I waste my time, and my friend’s time, to come into the Apple Store just to be rushed off with one diagnostic test and instructions that could have easily been given to me over the phone?

Why did the idiot I spoke to on the phone tell me I had to go in because hardware issues were found only to be told there were no hardware issues?

What THE FUCK happened to the Apple Store Genius Bar experience?

What a dramatic decline in the 9 years since I last had to do this for a faulty iPhone.

From we’ll swap it out for a new (or refurbished) one to….go home, you’re drunk.

This is Apple. Not HP. Not Samsung, where I expect that kind of treatment.

I could have retired from what I’ve spent on iPhones over the years just to for the EXPERIENCE of iOS.

Natually, I called to complain. In fact, I filed a complaint.

“You should not have been treated that way and told two different stories,” I was told over the phone.

Still with me?

So there I am. Phone still hot.

I’m having to use a desk fan to keep it cool.

Here’s the kicker, I can’t even restore the phone yet to see if it alleviates the issue since my Apple Watch is also on Watch OS beta. If I restore the iPhone back to iOS 15, there is no way to restore the watch back to Watch OS 8 without….you guessed it…. having to bring it back to the Apple Store.

Since the official release of iOS 16 is less than 2 weeks away, the solution, Apple approved, that I’m going with is to wait until iOS 16 officially comes out, erase and restore the phone and THEN see if the overheating issue is resolved. If it isn’t fixed, back to the Apple Store it goes to finally be repaired or replaced.

Or I can just chuck the fucking thing and get the 14 Pro Max which is about to be introduced this week since Verizon will let me finance it.

Or a Pixel 7.

Or a cup on a string?

I’ll let ya know.

My point behind this long two-part rant is…. I never thought I would be disappointed behind an Apple Store experience and to say I was disappointed by this visit is the understatement of the century.

What I am most annoyed with is no one seems to know what the real issue is? Is it hardware, software, beta? Could be any or all of the above.

Should they have this figured out though, it is iOS SIXTEEN, not iOS ONE.

Geniuses they aren’t.

Thanks for reading.